Turning 50: My Life Through Music - Redux

This last August, I reached a milestone in life that so many people seem to dread. For whatever reason, turning 50, to many, is akin to having the Grim Reaper hovering over your shoulder, ready to pounce at any moment. True, not even two centuries ago, the average life span was less than 50, so it isn't all that inconceivable to think that he is all that far off for some, even if 20 years away. While I have no doubt that I hit the halfway mark some years ago, I went into my 50th birthday with a certain degree of celebration and determination that the years to come were going to be some of the best of my life. I'm with my soulmate, life is one adventure after another, and I'm hopefully within a decade of being able to retire from a job that has tested my patience and sanity for nearly 20 years now. I truly feel that, as stated by the Chairman of the Board, "the best is yet to come".

Even as I type this, I am in the first half of a recovery period following surgery on both knees...and let me tell you, there is nothing to remind you that you're getting older like the recovery from double knee surgery. A couple days ago, I was scrolling through my Twitter news feed, once again subjecting myself to post after post of political frustration and social outrage about the world we live in. I hate it all, yet it is so hard for me to look away. When we look back at the year 2017, there will be few things of a redeeming value to write in the history books. We have a "president" that has been more self serving and spiteful than any to precede him in the office. The nation has been burdened down by the ongoing expose' of sexual harassment in politics, entertainment, and in society at large. Just an hour ago, Minnesota Senator Al Franken resigned from office, following allegations that he inappropriately touched individuals in his former life in comedy, with some allegations even bleeding over into his political life. Members of his own party called for him to resign, which is completely fair (and appropriate), while the Republican Party put an individual in the White House that was caught on tape bragging about how you just need to grab a woman "by the pussy". The world is currently wrought with a shroud of sexual oppression, racism, corporate greed, wildfires (again, multiple fires are currently burning the Hollywood Hills and other areas around Los Angeles) that have devoured a great portion of the Western United States. Christians feel that the Second Coming of Christ is close at hand... some politicians are all but publicly acknowledging that they are doing what they can to hasten that great day... while others think that we are either on the verge of nuclear holocaust, leaving only the most optimistic people believing that this is we sit on a precipice that will eventually turn tables into a more "woke" society. "Woke".... Google it.


Whoa... did I ever get distracted. I was talking about my Twitter feed. The place for depressing news and ironic comedy. And, for some of us, music.


I started following a friend of my son-in-law, Aaron, who seems to spend about 80% of his Tweeting time posting about college sports (something to which I couldn't care less, truth be told) and the other 20% of the time tweeting about music, something to which I care greatly.


Or do I?


This individual sent me a simple tweet. It read:


@zekethefreak favorite albums of 2017?



Those few words, simple in makeup and nature, caused me to stop dead in my tracks. Well, insomuch that I was laying on the couch when I read the tweet, I still managed to stop dead in my tracks. 2017... a year that is mostly spent, with presumable all NEW music having been released by now (we gotta get the stuff out for Christmas, you know). 


For those of you that have followed this blog post for any amount of time, you know that, up until 2015, I was compiling Top 20/10 lists for every year that had elapsed since I began this blog (over 10 years ago), including Top 10/20 lists for every year since my birth... up until 1986 or so, where I once again fell silent. 2016 was something that seemed not only a challenge, but something that I just didn't feel the need to tackle at the time. Truth be told, as 2016 has washed away into distant memories, I'm still not feeling the need to tackle that list. And here we are at the end of 2017, and I'm asked what my favorite albums of the year have been. For the first time in my adult life, I was posed with a question about music that I literally could not answer. In this day and age of Wikipedia and Google, one can find the answer to almost any musical (or otherwise) question...but there I lay with nothing but farts and crickets floating around in my head.


It was easy for me to say that "A Deeper Understanding" by The War on Drugs is my favorite album of 2017. Hands down. But even that album was similar enough to its predecessor, 2014's "Lost in the Dream" (my favorite album of 2014, and currently sitting at number 4 in my list of Favorite Albums of All Time) that it didn't quite maintain my interest the way that "Lost in the Dream" did. That said, my two favorite War on Drugs songs come from the latest offering, making it a contender for my Top 5 favorite albums of all time. But what about the rest of it all? What else captured my attention like The War on Drugs?


I lay there thinking about it, pondering... pushing deep into the recesses of my mostly absent mind... only to find.......nothing. Before I even spent time to really contemplate what I was saying, I said to my wife, "I think I may have reached that point in life where I have lost interest in new music. Either that, or music has just sucked overall this year."  Joan was quick to point out to me that I am still very much one of the biggest music enthusiasts she knows, but I can't help but wonder to myself... do I still have the passion for music that I have had since I first heard the opening song on Cheap Trick's "In Color" album... the succinct, yet punchy rocker, "Hello There". 



To this day, I will never forget the overwhelming feeling that overcame me the dark winter night when I first heard Cheap Trick's "In Color" album. I had just returned from a trip to Musicland, the late 70's mecca of music for teenage America. The song "I Want You To Want Me", an unsuspected hit taken from Cheap Trick's live album, "At Budakon" had recently reached the upper echelons of the American Pop/Rock charts, a song that, right up until the time the concert took place, wasn't even included on the setlist. The band had apparently been asked by the concert promoter to include the song, as it had been a hit on Japanese radio. Back in the states, Cheap Trick was still struggling to sell records and make the radio airwaves, being redeemed only by their ability to secure slots opening for bands like Kiss and Aerosmith. Simply put, middle America had no clue who they were. But on the other side of the world, the Japanese had already embraced them to the point of a Beatles like fury. 


When "I Want You To Want Me" became a surprise hit in the United States, the album that featured the album version (In Color) had failed to sell many copies and was already in the pile of cassettes being sold off at "The Nice Price" of $2.88. Upon finding that cassette in the pile of tapes, complete with the color cover image of Tom Petterson and Robin Zander on motorcycles (the album featured a black and white image of Bun E. Carlos and Rick Nelson, the two "nerds" of the band sitting on mopeds on the back of the LP jacket), I scoured the track listing to surprisingly find the song, "I Want You To Want Me". Being naive to hit music in America, I had no clue that the $2.88 cassette tape that I was about to buy didn't even have the version of that song that had captured my interest on the radio. Not only did it not have the same version, but it was a distinctly different version that featured a honky tonk piano solo where the otherwise tasty guitar solo appeared on the live version.  But, I didn't care... for when I put that cassette tape in my portable "boom box", I was blown away by what I heard...


"Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.... hello there, ladies and gentlemen.... are you ready to rock? Are you ready to rock?!?"  Boy howdy, was I ever.


As I was busy trying to tackle the horrors of 8th grade, I had unknowingly stumbled across a song that would change my life. A song that would sink me so deep into the annals of Rock and Roll. I joined Columbia House, where I could secure 8 cassettes for a penny! Or a total of 11, if I wanted to buy first obligated purchase at half price!! Yes!! Please!! MORE MUSIC!! MORE MUSIC!!


I had spent the first 12 years of my life listening to the music that my dad played. Bread (coincidentally playing even as I write this), The Doobie Brothers, Emerson, Lake & Palmer to name a few. Music was a part of my world, but it was background noise. Sure it was a soundtrack to life, but it wasn't a soundtrack to MY life. Cheap Trick changed that.


I have spent the rest of my life absorbing more and more music. Those early days were wrought with the sounds of Heavy Metal and good ol' classic Rock. Not the Heavy Metal that would become a caricature of itself in the mid-80's, but good hard rocking 70's bands like Judas Priest, Rush, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Journey, AC/DC and the like. I was from a fortunate generation of kids that got to experience REO and Journey before they became victims to the all-too-popular "power ballad". 


As I hit 9th grade, bands like The B-52's and Devo were starting to make waves in popular music. Then bands like The Human League, Soft Cell and artists like Gary Numan were beginning to infiltrate the American Top 40. Top 40 be damned, because those bands... even with their hit radio status...were opening the doors for what would prove to be the biggest musical revolution in MY life, the era of 80's New Wave music. 


Like most immature humans (teenagers), I was of the mindset that if I were listening to New Wave, I couldn't listen to the Heavy Metal of my junior high days. As I matured, I soon realized that I can listen to it all... and other genres of music... all depending on my mood or my particular situation. Music has become more seasonal to me over the years, where I listen to certain genres depending on the time of year. My wife and I have kind of evolved together in the way that we both love to listen to Jazz during the winter months, while summer demands that we keep things pumped up. I love EDM, she loves the Reggae, but we both love music enough to where we are content listening to each other's music for the most part. 


As I became an adult, I had the pleasure of spending 7 years working music retail, which only amplified my love of music... but also created another dynamic to that love. For the first time in my life, I was surrounded by music, both with the opportunities to acquire new music, as well as a seemingly bottomless well of new music from which I could find new things to listen to. Between the promo store copies of things that were being released, and my music collection which had become rather "fluid", since I spent those years working retail circulating my collection... trading in things that were not completely capturing my attention, replacing them with new and exciting things to hear. In many cases, the new acquisitions were soon (if not immediately) traded back in for other, more enticing things. In hindsight, I regret many of the things I traded in or sold, as much of it has since become very rare, even in the digital world of the 21st century. 



The way we listen to music has evolved so much over my lifetime. I was born in a world of LP records and 4-track tapes, the latter making way for the more user friendly 8-track tape. My earliest musical memories are attached to AM radio and the ever present 8-track tapes that circulated in and out of my dad's pickup truck. My father was a big music fan when I was a child and his love for it never fully ceased, even though it diminished over time. Dad's box of LP records were my first personal experience with music, as I used to love digging through that box of records, listening to things on my childhood record player. The mature music fan in me now cringes at the thought of pulling out those original British pressings of Beatles albums like "Revolver" and "Rubber Soul" and playing them on a crappy Fisher Price record player, but it was those records that subconsciously worked inside me to create the music monster that emerged when I first heard Cheap Trick's "In Color" many years later. 


By time I found my way into adolescence, most music was being played on LP records and cassette tapes. 8-track tapes were still around, even though their sales were really beginning to decline. As I started collecting music, I purchased more cassette tapes than I did LP records, based entirely off of their ease to listen to... and receive in the mail. As previously stated, Columbia House was the godsend for all burgeoning music enthusiast, as it usually helped one amass several records or tapes in one shot. Oh, the memories of tormenting the poor mailman, as I'd hear his jeep on the next street over, chasing him down to see if he had a small box from Columbia House with MY name gracing the paperwork within. Another reason I invested so much money into cassette tapes was that Sony had recently introduced the Walkman, which enabled us as a society to take our music "on the go".  It was life changing for brooding teenagers across the planet. 


As I started high school, my purchasing habits went more to the world of vinyl, since I had finally gotten a stereo that enabled me to not only listen to the records, but record them on to cassette tapes...and besides, it was a far superior way to browse for music. Having made the acquaintance of a young lad two years my junior, named Kim Simpson, it soon became a ritual for us to go record shopping, and spending copious hours at each others' houses listening to the bounty which we would bring home. Additionally, like most kids our age, we would take said purchases and make cassette copies of each other's records so that we would each have our own copies of the music to enjoy on our own.


As I officially hit adulthood, 21 and eager to take on the world, I finally made my way into the digital domain of the Compact Disc. CDs turned the music world upside down with their crisp, clear sound... the ability to take them on the go with the recently invented DiscMan, which replaced the Walkman. Being able to skip from track to track without having to fast forward, rewind, switch tracks or lift a needle just seemed like the far superior way to listen to music. During the early 1990's, people were dumping their vinyl records, while others continued to collect cassette tapes (for use in portable stereos, etc.) and compact discs. As record sales continued to plummet, they eventually disappeared from mainstream commercial music, even though limited pressings of most titles were still made available for the audiophiles that insisted that vinyl had a superior sound to other formats. 


While I actively collected CDs, feeling that the ease of listening to them, in addition to what I felt was a far better sound quality, made it a no-brainer. Unlike most people, however, I did not rid myself of my record collection and even continued to purchase used records when the opportunities presented themselves. Even as I made my way through the mid-90's, I still maintained a functional turntable and listened to the growing collection of vinyl from time to time. 


Even with the ease of CDs and the great sound quality that came with a well produced compact disc, none of us was ready for what would hit us at the turn of the century. MP3 files and file sharing websites created new opportunities for music collectors, even though it would eventually and arguably hurt the music industry. Sites like Napster and Audio Galaxy enabled people to share music files, and search for things that one wanted, but didn't have access to. I, myself, never used Napster, but was a huge fan of Audio Galaxy. Having the ability to search for songs, place them in a queue and then go to bed, only to find most of the files now part of my own personal digital library. Many artists in the music world began protesting the file sharing networks, eventually causing the collapse of Napster and total reconfiguration of other networks like Audio Galaxy. 


It has been argued for years that file sharing brutally injured the music industry, and while I suppose it did have a negative effect because of the casual music listener, I remain convinced to this day that it helped the real music enthusiasts to discover new music, music which we would turn around and purchase for our own personal libraries. A classic case in point for myself is the music of Steven Wilson. Most people fortunate enough to know the music of Steven Wilson became aware of him, either through his work with his former band, Porcupine Tree, or through his solo music. I had discovered another one of his original projects, No-Man, when I worked for Tom Tom Music. We had gotten a promotional CD of their first full length CD, "Loveblows and Lovecries". That dreamy collection of "art-Pop" became a favorite of mine, as well as the releases that followed throughout the 90's. By time I was on Audio Galaxy in 2001, I finally decided to check out this "other band" that Steven Wilson had started. While Porcupine Tree was a mostly solo affair throughout the first half of the 90's, Steven had surrounded himself with a small group of musicians that eventually came the "band". To investigate Porcupine Tree, I clicked on 16 tracks listed on Audio Galaxy and sent them to the queue. The next morning, I compiled a CD with 16 of the tracks that I had gotten.  I was blown away by 15 of the 16 cuts and immediately set out to buy as many CDs as I could. To this day, Steven Wilson remains my favorite musician. 


With the aforementioned mp3 technology, Apple decided to try their take at compressed audio file technology, creating the m4p file, in addition to a new device called the iPod. My first iPod was a 20GB U2 special edition iPod, which was black with a red wheel. The iPod changed my life, as it not only gave me a decent sounding file (while not the best sounding, it definitely satisfied) that I could take everywhere with me. I don't remember how many songs I had on that iPod, but as I've worked my way up to the now extinct 120GB and 160GB iPods, it enabled me to have a huge chunk of my music collection... all in a small metal box that was akin to the size of a cassette tape. Between junior high and my late 30's, I went from being able to play one cassette in a metal box roughly twice the size of a cassette tape, to any number of 35,000 songs in a smaller metal box, roughly the size of the one cassette tape. 


It wasn't until I was in my 40's that the world of music and music collecting really seemed to fall head over heels. CD sales were beginning to drop, mp3 file purchases were beginning to soar, and vinyl... well... it was coming back. By 2012, the music industry had evolved to the point where CDs were speculated to disappear beginning in 2015, digital files had leveled, and the vinyl LP medium was the only format that was actually increasing in sales each year. 


WTF???


Why anyone would spend their hard earned money on a file that doesn't come with REAL artwork (unless the albums are out of print otherwise) is beyond me. Now, I admit that I have purchased some digital albums on Amazon and iTunes, but what is one to do when they come across some of these albums for $.99 each (as was my case) and it just seems like the better option to buying a can of soda pop. I end the previous with a period instead of a question mark, because it's a no-brainer. It's not a question at all. A new release for 99 cents? YES, PLEASE!



It wasn't until the last few years that I truly started to panic about the state of the music industry. While I LOVE the fact that nearly everything is released on vinyl these days, and while I LOVE the fact that most records DO sound aurally superior to the other music mediums (especially digital files), I'm frightened about the fact that music is disappearing from stores. Yes, record stores are flourishing more than they have in 25 years, but your every day big box retail stores have diminishing music selections. Joan and I were just at Costco yesterday and I noticed that they didn't even have CDs. At all. None. Nil. Notta. And this is the world's biggest Costco store. 


It seems that the music world is quickly turning to 2 different formats of music. The vinyl record and the digital streaming services. While I still love record shopping as much as I ever have, I also have subscriptions to two separate music streaming services. Amazon Unlimited and Spotify. They each have their own benefits, although Spotify is quickly becoming my favorite, in the fact that I love seeing (or hearing) other people's playlists and experiencing music from their point of view.  The other huge benefit to me is that I now get to simply listen to an album on my phone (with the capable help of the extremely decent sounding UEMegaBoom speaker) before I go drop the $20-$30 for a new record. It has saved me multiple times from buying a new album that would have just ended up collecting dust. 


Between Joan and I, we probably own somewhere between six and seven thousand records. We love digging for vinyl, especially in stores with significant used vinyl selections. We love the thrill of the hunt, trying to secure something that is missing from our extensive collection. Yet, I love the ease of just being able to sit and add something to my phone. The huge drawback to that, however, is that I don't own the music. I'm simply borrowing it, or, more accurately, renting it. I'm paying to access it (commercials be damned), yet when I day, I won't have any of that. Records? Yes. Tapes? Yes. At least what few I still have. CDs are definitely dying. Most people don't buy them anymore. Most older artists that want to release a CD need to utilize the "go fund me" type programs to pay for the production and release of a CD, and I think they will eventually disappear. I hear people often questioning about where can they get rid of their CDs... realizing that thrift store donations are pretty much their only options. Most used CDs in a music store won't even fetch the cost of the gas to get you down to the store. That said, I still have boxes of them in storage and I'm not getting rid of them. I have a few racks that contain the pertinent CDs that I want handy, given any desire to listen to them. I'm not giving up on them... and I'm not throwing them away. I learned a lesson from vinyl that most of my peers also learned, albeit the hard way. As I've spent time in vinyl "communities" on Instagram, I've heard over and over the lamentations of people ruing the decision to get rid of all their albums back in the early 1990's, sad that they are now being forced to replace so many of their favorite albums. 


So, here I sit.... at the close of 2017, reflecting over the music of this year and how it impacted me... or, as is the case with most of what I've heard, didn't impact me. I don't think I can count on one hand the albums that I've loved this year. And part of that is my own problem. While I've searched out and added a crap ton of albums to my Amazon Unlimited account, I've not taken the time to genuinely explore those albums. I heard enough of the new Bon Iver to know that I really didn't care for what I heard, and so it sits... figuratively "collecting dust" in my non-existent digital music collection. The same can be said for several other albums. My ability to maintain focus in actively searching out new music is waning. So, here I sit, having gone full circle after writing down my life as a music enthusiast, wondering to myself.... has my love of music died? Or is the music that I hear nowadays just not worthy of my affections?


I'm genuinely worried that my passion for music has died. I listen to music all the time. All day at work... when I get home... in the car to and fro. All the time. I would rather have music playing quietly in the background than just sitting in silence. But that can probably be said for many people. I've known many people who love music, in the fact that they love having it playing... but the same people have never actively gone out collecting their own music. I know that for some, music is an obsession. Many would point fingers at me, stating that I am one of those people, but I don't feel it. Yes, I may ramble off pointless statistic after senseless fact regarding the music that I love, but I'm not absorbing every word spoken by the musical poet. I'm listening to the quiet oboe in the background, adding a unique flair to the verse of music that has just found its way into my ears. Just yesterday, I heard a DJ make a comment about how R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion" is the "most depressing song EVER". I owned "Out of Time", when it first hit record stores... even had the deluxe edition, and I STILL don't have the slightest clue what that song is about. Well, I guess I do... it's probably about someone losing their religion. But now, 25+ years later, I can sing along to it on the radio... yet I still don't really know what it's about. I WISH I could be the prolific music fan that Rolling Stone's Rob Sheffield is, but I can't...because I can't get past the music. Lyrics be damned, I suppose.


So, again I sit and ponder it all. I ponder this year, and the question posed to me earlier... what are my favorite albums of 2017? I don't know. The War on Drugs is it. That is my year in music. It's what I'm listening to right now, because my iPod died. I was listening to a playlist with my first four "Diamond Cutter" compilations... collections of my favorite songs of all time. As it was playing, before the batter gave out, I was realizing that I still love the music that I've always loved. I still feel the passion that those songs have brought into my life, and as those songs gave way to "A Deeper Understanding" from The War on Drugs, an album that I am thoroughly enjoying this very moment, I suppose that I still DO love music the way I always have. Obviously I need to sit down and figure out a way to not only find the new music that deserves to be heard, but I need to make listening to them a top priority in my music listening adventures. I know there is a plethora of places to find those things. Does Paste magazine still exist online? I believe so. I need to not be so afraid to explore the readily available things found online, especially because I can do it for the reasonable price of $10 a month (after my initial 3 months for $.99 Spotify trial ends), which is FAR better than buying a record for twice/thrice the price and not enjoying it the way I feel I should. 


As Sarah Mclachlan once told me, when I was ribbing my brother for not liking a specific Talk Talk record, "music is very personal... it impacts us all differently". I just hope that, as I enter my 50's, music continues to give me the emotional boost that it has since that cold winter night, so many years ago. I hope that, even if Cheap Trick's "In Color" doesn't give me the warm surge of emotion that it did back in 1979, there is something else waiting to come along that not only piques my interest, but literally becomes part of who I am.

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